Speaking Of That Job I Do....

This is my office phone, right next to a model of the bull that resembles movement in stocks to the upside in Wall Street terms. Next to my bull is a Rolodex... 3 items that I rely on to make a living. No technology, no fancy equipment, no charts or graphs, no crazy complicated process... I truly believe that I sometimes work the most boring job in the world. There is no salary, there is no stability, there is no real guarantee that you'll make up and still do this tomorrow. In many ways, I find it crazy that I can actually make a career with nothing but a phone and a few phone numbers. Dial a number, do some convincing and take a pay check home every month for the long hours I put in to my job. Anyways, I'm trying to deal with my move to my parents house with my girlfriend and it seems like the verge to just pick up and move again will not get any easier. I close my eyes at night and think about all the wonderful things I'd do in a new place. I question today how you truly show someone that you care about them wholeheartedly without doing anything out of the ordinary. Do you say "it will be okay" in a nice comforting voice? Do you say "wow, that's really terrible and I hope it gets better"? Or is it best to just hold someones hand and let them feel that you are there? I suppose I've failed the test of showing a certain somebody that I truly care, yet inside... I feel like I'd give up the world and more to make her happy. Maybe those are questions that I need to answer for myself, I just hate to feel this way. Have you ever felt something that you simply couldn't express in words? Like the feeling of your favorite ice cream, or a poem you really like, perhaps a person that you love... I am sometimes very lost for words with my feelings, I suppose it's why the people in my world tell me I need to speak more often. In any case, I deal with my feelings day by day, night by night, and I close my eyes to a world dark and quiet hoping the next day is a brighter and louder one. Sorry for the depressing connotation, I just wish there was a way out sometimes. -Dennis Glazzy

First Blog Ever, Worst Week Ever

I have absolutely no idea why I have started this blog. No idea whatsoever. I do know, however, that it's nice to be able to express every ounce of stress and frustration to a world that may never be known to me, but a world that I know may understand. I took the train this morning to my Wall Street Stockbroker job (I'm not a big shot) and wondered about all the things that I have which others dont. Streams of thoughts like clouds floating entered my mind and I began to realize how truly selfish I can be sometimes. I live in an apartment with my parents and girlfriend and I find it rightful to complain about the lack of space, feelings of adjustment, and every other thing I can knit pick at, but I am wrong. In New York City, there are too many times I pass by those much less fortunate than I. People who have ruined lives and a slight chance for return back to any social norm that may exist. I find it very sad that I can still find reason to complain at all. This feels as if it's been the worst week of my life. I had a change of jobs, a living relocation, and many sleepless nights wondering how to fix the mess I've put myself in. How do you deal with life on life's terms, knowing that running away from the problem is not an option? How do you wake up and smile like some people do? Surely, there are those who have mastered this and I would love to be one of them. For anyone that may find themselves reading these words, for anyone from that world so unknown to me... wherever you are, whoever you may be... it can always get worse. The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grab. So off to my weekend to find some magic, hoping you all do the same. From my spontaneous life, mind, and wits, have a wonderful weekend. - Dennis Glazzy